Mom Wars?

I have been itching to talk about this issue but have been hesitant to discuss it with other moms for fear it would cause a rift.  Now, since I find myself in a position where I have crossed over the boundary, and will be experiencing both, I am going to broach the subject. 

What is it you ask? It is the often unspoken, sometimes blatant, but always present, battle of the moms.  It has always seemed to me that all moms have divided themselves into two groups: Working Moms and Stay At Home Moms.  By nature, the two are mutually exclusive.  Moms are expected to fit neatly into one category or the other and then certain assumptions are made about them based on their label. 

I have to admit, I have fallen into this mindset.  As a working mom, I found it hard to relate to SAHM’s and I felt as if they were somehow giving up their independence.  I guess that’s the word that it comes down to for me.  Independence.  I grew up in a family where independence was important, and  I have always carried that with me through my adult life.  For me to give that up, was not easy.  I still have an uneasy feeling… What if something were to happen to Michael? How would I provide for our children on my own?  Those questions do cross my mind, but we have been able to put some things in place so I know we would still be okay. 

At the same time, I also felt a lot of guilt for going to work everyday and allowing others to “raise,” my kids during the week.  I don’t regret it though, I feel like that was what we needed to do at the time and we found the best caregivers to stand in for us while we worked.  I still think daycare is great for kids. It helps them learn social skills and all kinds of things they don’t learn from just two parents.  I am hopeful I can find some social outlets for us now.  They are used to being around kids and I know they will miss it, and I need to talk to an adult or two once in a while!

I would LOVE to hear from other moms on this issue.  I am completely open to all comments on this post.  Since I haven’t really discussed this with other moms before, I don’t know if they feel the same way, or if it’s just me. So, tell me, are you on one side or the other? Or are you able to relate to both?  If you are a working mom, do you secretly wish you could stay home?  If you are a SAHM, do you envy those who get a break from their kids and go to work?  Something tells me this may be a case of the grass is always greener.  Maybe having a discussion about this will help other moms better relate to each other.  Please, tell me what you think. 

And the Adventure Begins...

If you had asked me a year ago if I would be a stay at home mom today,  I would have  told you you were crazy.  I was perfectly content working full time and being a mom after 5:00 and on the weekends.  Or so I thought.   I was secretly jealous of my friends who got to stay at home with their kids, but I couldn't justify quitting my job and staying home.  We needed two incomes right?  Plus, I had gone to  college for four years and racked up thousands of dollars in student loans in order to work in my chosen field.  How could I really just throw that away? Could I still be considered a productive member of society if I didn't work outside the home? What would happen when I was ready to go back?   Could I really handle being home with my two boys all day?  All of these things kept me from making it happen. 

Then, everything changed.  My husband got a great opportunity with a great company in another city, and he is actually the one who brought it up.  He'd known how I felt even without me talking about it too much.  (that's why I love him...)  So, he devised a plan, whereby we could pay off some debt and work things out so  I could stay home when we moved to the new city. 

I have been contemplating my new role as a SAHM for five months now, while my husband commuted every day to work and I have been absorbing the vast majority of the child related duties, the morning routine, taking them to daycare, picking them up, making dinner, etc.  I have been looking forward to things being significantly LESS rushed and hectic. I have been eagerly anticipating spending more time and taking a more active role in my boys' education.  What they have been learning at "school," they will now learn from me! I have plans to get preschool lesson plans, set aside time each day to do lessons, music and crafts.  In short, I have become enamored with the possibilities.  Whether my daydreams will turn into reality has yet to be determined.

And this is where my story begins.  Today is my first day home alone with my boys for the whole day.  Upon advice of several of my friends,  I got up and took a shower and got dressed before Mike left for work.  I want to make sure I don't fall into the "lounging around in my PJ's all day," rut.  And Lord knows, if I wait till the kids are up, it could be 4:00 before I get to shower.  Today, the plan is to check out the local library, change my address at the SOS and make the first of presumably thousands of trips to Target. So, here I sit, blogging while my kids watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in their pajamas.  With that said, it is time for them to get dressed.  Great things await us.